Its not the end of the world
My heart felt like it was beating a million times a minute, I could hear it beating out loud, and I felt like I could see it beating through the skin on my chest. I quickly ran into my parents’ room, hid under the covers and pushed my hands over my ears so hard that they started to turn bright red, but I could still hear all the yelling and screaming; it scared me so bad that my body shook with fear as I wondered how long it would be until it was over. I used to experience this feeling many nights when I was a young girl and it began when I was around seven or eight years old until I was about fourteen. The arguing didn’t scare me as I got older because I got used to it, and in my head I always knew my parents would be together forever. No one in my family was divorced because it was not accepted in my culture. On top of that, I always knew my parents would never get a divorce because they knew it would ruin my life. At the time I did not know that studies done in the 1980’s concluded that the chances of divorce are in the 50% range, giving my parents the same chance of staying together or getting divorced (Kreider & Fields). It was not until just this last year that I realized that this divorce was the best thing that could happen to my family and that divorces are not always bad things because they can actually bring your family closer together.
It was one hot and sunny day after school in mid-May when I received some “bad news” from my mom. When I arrived home my cheeks were bright pink from walking to my house from the school bus stop in what felt like ninety degree weather. It seemed like any normal day when I arrived home, when in reality I would soon find out that it wasn’t. My mom greeted me as usual and asked me what I wanted to eat for lunch. I would usually have a turkey sandwich or whatever we had leftover from dinner the night before. She came and sat down next to me on my favorite black leather couch in the living room. All I can remember now is just one sentence that came out of my mother’s mouth that day. “Your father and I are getting a divorce, Tania.” I was furious at first, my cheeks turned from pink to flaming red and I could feel the heat coming off the skin on my face. “How could you do this to me? I hate you guys, and What about my sister!?” were the only words that I could manage to scream out of my mouth. Even though I was extremely upset myself, my sister was my biggest concern because she was only five years old at the time and I didn’t know how she would react to the news or if she would even understand. I didn’t know how to react myself so the only thing I could do was to be mad at them. My mom tried to explain things to me but I couldn’t hear her, all I could hear were the voices that were shouting at me in my head making it feel like my head was about to explode at any second. I just sat there and stared into space for what seemed like hours and soon my anger turned into tears. I was scared of what life would be like without them both at home, and it felt like my life would be ruined. I didn’t want to become one of the one million children that were affected by divorce each year (Emery).My mom scooted closer to me and I fell into her arms and just cried myself to sleep.
This brings me to when I started to realize that my parent’s divorce was actually going to be a good thing. When I was a little girl I had a great relationship with my Dad; I was “Daddy’s little girl.” I would jump into his arms when he came home, call him all day when he was at work, and spend all day with him on his day off. Once I entered the sixth grade, I started to grow a separate way. I was becoming a teenager and I didn’t speak or spend time with him like I did when I was a little girl. I had a small fear of my Dad because he was so strict. Being from the Iranian culture, my dad’s ways were very old fashioned. My curfew was always earlier than all my other friends and I couldn’t do half the things that they could. I was forbidden to date boys until I was eighteen years old. My dad being so strict tore us apart and we rarely even talked unless we had to. We didn’t hate each other, but we were both just not the type to be affectionate towards each other. Things were the same with my mother. I always loved to help my mother cook and help her in the garden when I was young. I would wear her clothes and follow her around the house everywhere. I slowly grew apart from her as well once I entered the sixth grade.
Just this past year, I finally realized how much closer my family and I had become since the divorce. When my parent’s were together, I had the option to take sides. I felt as if their arguing with each other made me mad at them. At the time, I didn’t know how or why it made me upset, but once they got divorced I understood and things changed. I was mad because it made me upset to see them unhappy, but at the time I just thought I was angry because I couldn’t do anything I wanted. I was forced to grow a strong bond with both of them when they got divorced. I got to spend more one on one time with each of my parents. I cherished my time with each of them more and therefore made the effort to get to know them better and spend more time with them. Part of me felt bad because I thought that they were alone now that they were divorced. This wasn’t the case because my parents had me and my sister and we were the most important things to them. I have learned that they are happier now that they are divorced. I have also learned that my parent’s getting a divorce did not ruin my life but has made it better because I am now closer to both of them and love them now more than I ever have. Elizabeth Price says it best, “Dealing with the emotional turmoil of divorce is never easy. But it does not have to be the end of the world. It can be the beginning of a changed -- and hopefully better, and happier – life.”
Rose M. Kreider and Jason M. Fields, Number, Timing and Duration of Marriages and Divorces: 1996, Current Population Reports, P70-80, Washington, DC: US Census Bureau, 2002
Emery, Robert E. The truth about children and divorce: dealing with the emotions so you and your children can thrive, New York : Penguin, 2006
Price, Elizabeth. Divorce and teens: when a family splits apart / Elizabeth Price. Berkeley Heights, NJ : Enslow Publishers, c2004.
It was one hot and sunny day after school in mid-May when I received some “bad news” from my mom. When I arrived home my cheeks were bright pink from walking to my house from the school bus stop in what felt like ninety degree weather. It seemed like any normal day when I arrived home, when in reality I would soon find out that it wasn’t. My mom greeted me as usual and asked me what I wanted to eat for lunch. I would usually have a turkey sandwich or whatever we had leftover from dinner the night before. She came and sat down next to me on my favorite black leather couch in the living room. All I can remember now is just one sentence that came out of my mother’s mouth that day. “Your father and I are getting a divorce, Tania.” I was furious at first, my cheeks turned from pink to flaming red and I could feel the heat coming off the skin on my face. “How could you do this to me? I hate you guys, and What about my sister!?” were the only words that I could manage to scream out of my mouth. Even though I was extremely upset myself, my sister was my biggest concern because she was only five years old at the time and I didn’t know how she would react to the news or if she would even understand. I didn’t know how to react myself so the only thing I could do was to be mad at them. My mom tried to explain things to me but I couldn’t hear her, all I could hear were the voices that were shouting at me in my head making it feel like my head was about to explode at any second. I just sat there and stared into space for what seemed like hours and soon my anger turned into tears. I was scared of what life would be like without them both at home, and it felt like my life would be ruined. I didn’t want to become one of the one million children that were affected by divorce each year (Emery).My mom scooted closer to me and I fell into her arms and just cried myself to sleep.
This brings me to when I started to realize that my parent’s divorce was actually going to be a good thing. When I was a little girl I had a great relationship with my Dad; I was “Daddy’s little girl.” I would jump into his arms when he came home, call him all day when he was at work, and spend all day with him on his day off. Once I entered the sixth grade, I started to grow a separate way. I was becoming a teenager and I didn’t speak or spend time with him like I did when I was a little girl. I had a small fear of my Dad because he was so strict. Being from the Iranian culture, my dad’s ways were very old fashioned. My curfew was always earlier than all my other friends and I couldn’t do half the things that they could. I was forbidden to date boys until I was eighteen years old. My dad being so strict tore us apart and we rarely even talked unless we had to. We didn’t hate each other, but we were both just not the type to be affectionate towards each other. Things were the same with my mother. I always loved to help my mother cook and help her in the garden when I was young. I would wear her clothes and follow her around the house everywhere. I slowly grew apart from her as well once I entered the sixth grade.
Just this past year, I finally realized how much closer my family and I had become since the divorce. When my parent’s were together, I had the option to take sides. I felt as if their arguing with each other made me mad at them. At the time, I didn’t know how or why it made me upset, but once they got divorced I understood and things changed. I was mad because it made me upset to see them unhappy, but at the time I just thought I was angry because I couldn’t do anything I wanted. I was forced to grow a strong bond with both of them when they got divorced. I got to spend more one on one time with each of my parents. I cherished my time with each of them more and therefore made the effort to get to know them better and spend more time with them. Part of me felt bad because I thought that they were alone now that they were divorced. This wasn’t the case because my parents had me and my sister and we were the most important things to them. I have learned that they are happier now that they are divorced. I have also learned that my parent’s getting a divorce did not ruin my life but has made it better because I am now closer to both of them and love them now more than I ever have. Elizabeth Price says it best, “Dealing with the emotional turmoil of divorce is never easy. But it does not have to be the end of the world. It can be the beginning of a changed -- and hopefully better, and happier – life.”
Rose M. Kreider and Jason M. Fields, Number, Timing and Duration of Marriages and Divorces: 1996, Current Population Reports, P70-80, Washington, DC: US Census Bureau, 2002
Emery, Robert E. The truth about children and divorce: dealing with the emotions so you and your children can thrive, New York : Penguin, 2006
Price, Elizabeth. Divorce and teens: when a family splits apart / Elizabeth Price. Berkeley Heights, NJ : Enslow Publishers, c2004.
posted by TaniaAkhavan at
10:35 AM
1 Comments:
Overall very well put together essay. But on the second Paragraph you could just say It was one hot sunny day. That is my suggestion.
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